Hale Yes!

I owe everyone a earnest answer as to why I have not updated in months.

...

....

.....

I turned into a Vampire.

*Sparkle windchime noises*

Between the 3 days of unimaginable pain and anguish, moving to the Northwest, and perfecting my hunting style, my schedule has just been filled to the brim!

-We now return to Hazel's reality-

Ha, *sniff* I wish.

You may be wondering why my Youtube account has vanished. I took it down and deleted it. The reason isn't colossal. There was no hate mail, creepy mail, issues with Youtube, or complications with my computer. 

My interests and hobbies change faster than Edward can sprint (oh snap). And selfishly, making videos is not at the peak of my interests. I now want to concentrate on getting my blog up and running again, and really get into some other time consuming hobbies I have acquired.

Thank you to all the people who supported my videos, and and all my subscribers. You guys were, without a doubt, the best part of making videos. I was so proud to have such a clever, bright, fun, group of people watching my videos.

Am I still into Twilight?!

HALE YES!

You might even catch a glimpse of me at Comic Con ;) I bet you can all guess what I'll be wearing.

What about the Trolls?!

The Trolls turned out to be a bit more difficult than I could've imagined. Expensive is a good word. I will continue to work on them, and show photos on this blog. Don't you guys worry, you'll see every step of the way :)

Thank you again, for all of your awesomeness. Stay tuned for more updates.

~Hazel May

Hazel, were you a mature child?

Answer:

1) Look at the detail! How I have red blood seeping into my mouth cavern, from the treacherous injury I have sustained! . . . . . or some may say I just had Hawaiian punch . . . . But I like my version waaay better.

2) Overalls?! *snicker* hehehehohoho, I am so 1999.

3) Yes kids, even at this young age, I was dying my hair. I thought I was sooo cool.

4) How cheap was this Casino!?!? Geez, I mean, come on! HALF of the dragon monster? Only half? PSH! *flails arms* Apparently they ran out of cash halfway through making the darn thing and said "Well hey now, this way it can lower to the ground, so young girls can go stick their heads in it and take a photo on a disposable camera, while thinking they are being hilarious".

5) Hey. Remember disposable cameras? *sigh* Good`ol days.

6) ANYWHO.

7) Those people on the side are not my family. I have no clue who they are. But yet, they will now be in my photo forever . . . I wonder how many photos I am in, that are belong to someone else . . .

I now dare you ALL to post a photo from when you were younger. One that you cringe at every time you see! I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU.

Happy late Saint Marcus Day!

~Hazel May

P.S. I had the best time at my DVD release last night! I went to Borders, and had a blast. I didn't get my DVD though. I had it shipped to the store, and I will be getting it in a couple days. Ah well. Going in my lamb costume was hilarious. One girl even recognized me from the Lexicon!

What did you all do?

People Watcher

Yesterday I went to the gym. Did a good, long, burning workout, then called my Mom to pick me up.

Me: Hola Madre! -Then a string of incoherent spanish that I completely and totally made up on the spot-

Mom: . . . uh, Hello?

Me: . . . Mom, it's me, your daughter.

Mom: Oh. Hi Hazel.

Me: Well, anyways, I'm finished at the gym.

Mom: I still need to pick your brother up, so I might be about 30 or 40 minutes until I can get you . . .

Me: Oh, okay. Well I'll be here.

Mom: I'll call you when I'm close to the gym. Bye.

Me: 'kay, bye Mom.

Not sure of what to do with 30-40 minutes on my hands, I wandered downstairs and took a seat watching a bunch of men, ranging from the looks of 17-55 play basketball. I slid myself into a tall chair that made my feet dangle off the ground, and placed my elbows on the counter in front of me. From behind the glass, I sat and watched.

I love to people watch. If I could spend all day at a busy park and watch Moms yell at their kids, and hobos sort through trash, and couples going on awkward rollerblading dates, I would. I would and I would be HAPPY.

So of course the first thing I did when I started watching the men play, was rummage through my bag and pull out my notebook and gel pen (because what kind of pen I used is important . . . not).

I'm not saying that I go all Dr. Laura and try to analyze everyone, and everything they do, while thinking that I have been able to figure out their complete mental state in a matter of minutes. Hells to the no! I simply like watching and wondering about what makes people tick.

There was this one guy, and I kid you not, he was an exact clone of the man who played Mozart in Amadeus, and that one that accidently becomes a pedophile in Animal house. You know that guy?

Well, not exactly those versions. A lot more similar to the time he played the hippie shrink from Stranger Than Fiction (Harold, a tree doesn't think it's a tree. It knows it's a tree).

Then imagine the caveman from the Geico commercials.

Got it? Okay. Now imagine him bald and without the beard.

Not even kidding.
(Yes, Mozart and Caveman dude battled it out on the court before my very own eyes)

Believe it or not, but I found the fashions very interesting.
Some appear to be male models just coming out from a sportswear catalog, wearing combinations such as a red and white "I (heart) NY" t-shirt, paired along with white shorts that have red strips running down the sides, shiny red shoes with white laces, and a red mouth guard. And they NEVER SWEAT. Not even a trickle. The day the earth stops spinning is the day they will look even slightly disheveled.

Then there are those who . . . well, look like I do when I'm at the gym. In sweats that need to be washed, a ragged t-shirt from a raffle you won years ago (oh, and it has a lovely food stain down the front), while it seems as if every little pore on your body is having a contest to see who can expel the most moisture.

We need to stick together, we who look like crap.

But I do have to say, I did one-up everyone that day by inadvertently wearing mismatched socks. BOOYAH!

There was one young man who had the whitest teeth I had ever seen. Seriously, these were Edward worthy. I didn't even try to get a closer look for fear of being blinded by the shine. Whatever toothpaste that man uses, I want it.

As their game started to wind down, and many players started to pack up and leave, a few men stayed to mess around on the court. I decided to pull out a book and start reading. Then within 5 minutes I heard a tap on the glass. My head shot up. There was a guy holding a basketball, motioning to me while mouthing "Come on! Come play!". Laughing, I shook my head while silently mouthing "I can't play". He gave a big grin and went back to shooting baskets.

It was a lucky day for that man. If in that moment I had said yes, he would probably be in a ICU, due to injury I would have caused him by my horrid playing. Lucky, Lucky guy.

Seriously. I can't dribble to save my life. Least of all dribble and WALK at the same time.

It was a good day.
~Hazel May

I am alive . . . Sorta.

I just checked how long it has been since my last Youtube video, and I was shocked to see that it has been 31 days since I uploaded anything.

*bangs head against table*

crap.

Oh, I mean, uh OMEEE.

Ahem.

And then there is this silly little thing I sometimes call a blog. But when I think "blog" I think about something that gets updated, oh, at LEAST once a week.

I apparently fail at life.

And Youtube.

And Blogger.

Now let me go have my pity party and eat lots of butter and chocolate, and ice cream, and fatty goodness.

Then I will return and upload more stuff.

I PROMISE.

....

I always do this.

I always make waaaaay too many one sentence paragraphs.

Bad habit.

It will die hard.

~Hazel May

P.S. And to try to pathetically make it up to you all, I will attempt to placate you with a photo.

Twilight Trolls -Part 1-

Today I started the "Twilight Troll" conversion process. Though I only did a small batch a first, so I could document the process though photos. Above, you can see the selected trolls. I know that right now they have a startling resemblance to Children of the Corn, but have no fear. To be able to paint them, the eyes and hair needed to be removed. They WILL have eyes (and hair) at the end of their journey.

A simple can of spray paint, procured at Wal-Mart.

Baby Renesmee before.

And After.

Now I realize that while looking at this picture, you may be thinking "Man, those silver little aliens must be waiting for E.T. to pick`em up." But no my friends, no. Do not let this photo deceive your eyes. The lighting in this photo does not do them justice. In person, they are fantastic looking. Throughout this process, some steps may look downright wretched. But in the end, it will be fine. I promise.

Vampire (& Troll) Hugs & Kisses,

~Hazel May

P.S.

Oh, did I mention that I am recreating myself in Troll form as well?

Valentine

Happy Single Awareness Day.

Edward, you silly 107yr virgin, come out, come out, where ever you are!

Oh crap, I can't say that anymore, can I? After the honeymoon and all, that title is not very accurate. 

*Sighs* ah well.....

~Hazel May

I remember when...

I remember the exact moment this was taken. I remember the smell, the cool breeze, the trickle of sweat down my forehead in the hot sun. I remember the taste of french fries in my mouth, and ice tea.

And of course I remember thinking "For the love of god Hazel, do not fall. You haven't even started the hike yet."

I remember.

~Hazel May